We all rely on others for many things.
Emotional support. Energy and internet connections to our homes. Even our money.
All of them are linked to our interactions with people and businesses.
Some of these connections are necessary for survival. But not all of them. And many of the things we use to solve our problems are often expensive. That expense is borne in terms of money, time, or our emotions.
I believe we all have a need to become more self-reliant. Taking initiative to learn and solve problems gives us the skills and power to change our lives for the better.
Welcome to the second article in the Saving Series. In this series, I share my thoughts on why consuming less and building independence allows us to focus on what matters.
Increasing our self-reliance allows us to take greater control over our lives. This mindset has us walk a path that few in our society choose to tread. In doing so, we develop the skills necessary to survive and thrive in the modern age.
What is Self-Reliance?
Self-reliance is the ability to depend on your own abilities and resources rather than the abilities and resources of others.
Attaining self-reliance is the ultimate form of independence. If you can meet all of your own needs, you are free to focus on what matters to you. Self-reliance is necessary for this goal.
I’ve written about financial independence on the blog a lot, which is just one aspect of self-reliance. A person who has created financial independence in their life may still be reliant on others. Despite their financial independence, they may be unable to solve all of their problems by themselves.
You need to control your resources like money, food, and energy effectively. Without this control, your life is subject to influence and control from others.
There are some things that we can’t access without engaging in society. But you can construct your life in a way that gives you more control over it. Doing this free your body and mind to focus on what matters to you.
There are times in our lives when it’s impossible for us to be self-reliant. As babies, we cannot feed or clothe ourselves. We must rely on our parents or guardians to do this for us. As we mature and become adults – sometimes with children of our own – it becomes increasingly necessary to build self-reliance into our own lives.
We need to become self-reliant in order to provide for those among our loved ones who are not yet self-reliant. We need to be able to support those who cannot support themselves.
I believe that even without dependents, we must strive to be as self-reliant as possible. We may be able to rely on the support of family, friends, businesses or governments. But I don’t believe this is a sustainable approach in the long term.
I’m not referring to people who have a genuine need to utilise this support in order to live an ordinary life. I’m referring to people of able mind and body who are capable of building a better life for themselves.
For a person aspiring to become the highest version of themselves, self-reliance is essential.
How Do You Become Self-Reliant?
Self-reliance is achieved in a few different ways. And it’s possible to be self-reliant in some areas of life and not others. The first and primary means is financial self-reliance: the ability to provide for the monetary needs of yourself and your loved ones.
Financial Self-Reliance
Being able to cover your family’s expenses, as well as saving money for the future, allows you to provide both in the present and in the future. You will need to provide for yourself and your loved ones long after your primary income source has disappeared. Being able to attain your own income to meet your financial needs is essential to attaining self-reliance.
I’ve written previously about how intertwined money is with our society. Living a life without any monetary spending at all is almost impossible. However, there are some who attempt to take additional steps to make themselves self-reliant. Growing your own food, generating your own energy, and developing your own forms of entertainment are all ways by which you can avoid spending your money. Steps like this help you attain financial self-reliance.
Controlling Your Emotions
Being able to entertain yourself without spending money is increasingly becoming a valuable skill. So many aspects of modern life demand a a small amount of money via subscriptions and fees. With so many services available, many suffer financial death by a thousand cuts. Foregoing some of these expenses can reward you with more than just the money you save. It frees you from the need to consume to be happy.
You can still spend money on things that you enjoy. And you should spend money on things you enjoy! But do so in ways that don’t make you reliant on the thing you consume. A desire can turn to an obsession, which can become addiction. Avoid consumption in excess, as well as addictive substances and experiences.
Learning New Skills
Another way to become more self-reliant is by learning a wide variety of skills. Knowing how to cook, grow your own food, and earn money without a job, are all skills that self-reliant individuals are likely to possess. You may also know this as being a polymath or a person of many talents.
Polymaths in the past may have been interested in science, engineering, mathematics, and the arts. Names like Leonardo da Vinci and Nikola Tesla come to mind. Nowadays, polymaths are likely to be learning about psychology, philosophy, personal finance, nutrition, game theory, sales, and perhaps some specialized skills that they use in their career. Above all of this is the love of learning. Polymaths do whatever they can to improve their own lives and the lives of others.
The combination of all of these skills will benefit you greatly. You can interact with people easily, earn good money, develop a learning habit, and become self-reliant.
Why You Should Build Self-Reliance
Building self-reliance into your life is essential if you want to create the life you want to live. A life of self-reliance is a life of freedom from the negative influence of others on your wealth, health, and relationships.
This doesn’t mean foregoing positive interactions; in fact, it’s the opposite. By creating a life where you’re in full control of your wealth, health, and relationships, you have the ability to impact all three areas of your life in positive ways.
Stop Spending to Solve Your Problems
It is possible to earn enough money to instead focus on your career and pay for the things you need. This is the approach I’ve taken thus far, and I don’t think it’s the correct approach.
The hyper-specialization of careers in the modern age has led to people being extremely skilled in specific things while lacking skills entirely in others. This has led to a world where we are willing to trade our time for money, and then use our money on someone or something that will solve our problems.
The goal of our society is solely on making as much money as possible. That money is then thrown at the fires that the pursuit of wealth has created in our lives.
There is another way.
I believe it’s better to learn skills that will be useful to you in different stages of your life. This way, you don’t have to earn a high income in order to afford the services of professionals. Find ways to learn skills to untangle yourself from a life of spending money to solve problems.
There are some services that are unavoidable. For example, electricians, plumbers, and mechanics often need registrations or specialized equipment to perform their roles. There’s not much you can do about these. Instead, look for things you currently pay for and find alternatives to them.
For example, consider second-hand shopping or sharing things with friends. A local group I’m a part of shares books between members rather than having everyone buy their own individually.
Finding a Balance
Some of these things may make you more reliant on others rather than less. The point is that you are choosing how you engage with others. You aren’t relying on getting things through the channels that society wants you to go through.
The point is to reframe the idea that all of your problems are solved by spending money. Yes, many of your problems will be solved by spending money, but not all of them.
What this looks like will be different for each person. I imagine there will be some area of your life that has problems that you currently pay to solve. It could be the case that some of those problems are able to be solved using a skill that you already have, or one that you can learn.
If you do this routinely, you’ll learn new things and create solutions to your problems. If you do this in tandem with a savings goal, you’ll likely reduce your total spending. This frees up cash that you can use immediately to pay down debt or save.
Self-Reliance is a Skill You Can Learn
The modern-day schooling system has not prepared us to be self-reliant.
The emphasis of much of our schooling is to develop obedience — the ability to follow instructions — and acceptance, of the teachings, rules, and dogma of those in positions of authority.
The focus of this education is to ensure that young adults entering society are able to integrate into the pre-existing system as easily as possible. Self-reliance stands in opposition of this.
Thankfully, being self-reliant is a state of being that almost anyone can achieve. Many people will achieve this to some degree; very few will become fully self-reliant. It’s almost impossible to live nowadays without being reliant on others for something, however small.
You can learn to be self-reliant by learning about ways that you can take ownership of your life:
- How to grow your own food
- How to earn a living in a way that isn’t a job
- How to be happy without spending money
All of these are skills that you can learn in order to decrease how much you rely on others to live your ideal life. You’ll be able to find ways to
Trust Yourself and Your Abilities
The skills, abilities, and experiences you gain on the path to becoming more self-reliant will directly enable you to provide for your loved ones. This, in turn, will instil within you a trust and confidence in your own abilities.
This confidence is both justified and cyclical, allowing you to then focus on developing more skills and abilities that further enhance your self-reliance.
Building self-reliance and acquiring skills to become more self-reliant becomes an outward spiral that will improve almost every aspect of your life.
Discover Who You Were Meant to Be
Self-reliance will give you the strength and freedom to discover who you are and what your individual abilities are.
Society often makes us feel inadequate or invalid for not having a specialized skill or talent. It also ignores the varied traits that make up our individual skill sets. This becomes especially true as we attempt to fit into the moulds that society has laid out for us.
When people and systems hold influence and power over you, it becomes difficult to manifest the person you were meant to be. Building self-reliance allows us to shake ourselves free from this control and allows us to discover who we truly are.
Closing
Self-reliance as a skill seems to have been eroded from our society. Due to a reliance upon the monetary system, our ability to directly provide our own needs has been greatly diminished.
I don’t think we should be going off-grid and living in a cabin in the woods. But I do believe that we would all benefit from becoming more self-reliant. If we do, our health, wealth, and relationships with others will all be much better off.
Thank you for reading.
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